Relationships

Before and after marriage

Before - You take my breath away.
After - I feel like I’m suffocating.

Before - Twice a night.
After - Twice a month.

Before - She loves the way I take control of a Situation.
After - She called me a controlling, manipulative, egomaniac.

Before - He makes me feel like a million dollars.
After - If I had a dime for every stupid thing he’s done...

Before - Don’t Stop.
After - Don’t Start.

Before - Is that all you are eating?
After - Maybe you should just have a salad, honey.

Before - We agree on everything!
After - Doesn’t she have a mind of her own?

Before - He’s lost without me.
After - Why can’t he ask for directions?

Before - When together, time stands still.
After - This relationship is going nowhere.

Before - I can hardly believe we found each other.
After - How the hell did I end up with someone like you?

Dating process:
6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U.
6 months : Of course I love U.
6 years : GOD, if I didn’t love U, then why the hell did I propose?

Back from Work:
6 weeks : Honey, I’m home.
6 months : BACK!!
6 years : What did your mom cook for us today??

Gifts:
6 weeks : Honey, I really hope you liked the ring.
6 months : I bought you a painting; it would fit the motif in the living room. !
6 years : Here’s the money. Buy yourself something.

Phone Ringing:
6 weeks : Baby, somebody wants you on the phone.
6 months : Here, for you.
6 years : PHONE RINGING.

Cooking:
6 weeks : I never knew food could taste so good!
6 months : What are we having for dinner tonight?
6 years : AGAIN!!!!

Apology:
6 weeks : Honey muffin, don’t you worry, Ill never hold this against you.
6 months : Watch out! Don’t do it again.
6 years : What’s not to understand about what I just said??

New Dress:
6 weeks : Oh my God, you look like an angel in that dress.
6 months : You bought a new dress again???
6 years : How much did THAT cost me?

Planning for Vacations:
6 weeks : How do 2 weeks in Vienna or anywhere you please sound?
6 months : What’s so bad about going to Istanbul on a charter plane?
6 years : Travel? What’s so bad about staying home?

TV:
6 weeks : Baby, what would you like us to watch tonight?
6 months : I like this movie.
6 years : I’m going to watch ESPN, if you’re not in the mood, go to bed, I can stay up by myself.

Some Hints for Women ...

- If you think the way to a man’s heart is through
his stomach you’re aiming too high.

- Women don’t make fools of men -- most of
them are the do-it-yourself types.

- The best reason to divorce a man is a health
reason: you’re sick of him.

- Never trust a man who says he’s the boss at
home. He probably lies about other things too.

- A woman’s work that is never done is the stuff
she asked her husband to do.

- Go for younger men. You might as well -- they
never mature anyway.

- A man who can dress himself without looking
like Forest Gump is unquestionably gay.

- Men are all the same -- they just have different
faces so you can tell them apart.

- Definition of a man with manners -- he gets
out of the bath to pee.

- Whenever you meet a man who would make
a good husband, you will usually find that he does.

- Scientists have just discovered something
that can do the work of five men -- a woman.

- There are a lot of words you can use to describe
men -- strong, caring, loving -- they’d be wrong but
you can still use them.

- Men are like animals -- messy, insensitive
and potentially violent, but they make great pets.

- Men’s brains are like the prison system --
not enough cells per man.

- Husbands are like children -- they’re fine if
they’re someone else’s.

- If a man appears sexy, caring and smart give
him a day and he will be back to his usual self.

- Figuring out men is like trying to make a
jigsaw puzzle in a car, once you think you have
it all put together, you find another piece but you
don’t know where it goes.

Top 10 rejection lines given by women (and what it really means)

- I think of you as a brother... (You remind me of that inbred banjo-playing geek in "Deliverance.")

- There’s a slight difference in our ages... (I don’t want to do my dad)

- I’m not attracted to you in ’that’ way... (You are the ugliest dork I’ve ever laid eyes on.)

- My life is too complicated right now... (I don’t want you spending the whole night or else you may hear phone calls from all the other guys I’m seeing.)

- I’ve got a boyfriend... (I prefer my male cat and a half gallon of Ben and Jerry’s)..

- I don’t date men where I work... (I wouldn’t date you if you were in the same ’solar system’, much less the same building.)

- It’s not you, it’s me... (It’s you.)

- I’m concentrating on my career... (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my job is better than dating you.)

- I’m celibate... (I’ve sworn off only the men like you.)

- Let’s be friends... (I want you to stay around so I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I meet and have sex with.)

tnx 4 sharing azing, may natutunan ako hehe....

no problem ate jane

KAKARELATE AKO..NYAHAHA... MGA LALAKI NGA NAMAN

haha..
nkakapang realize ang mga kowtznez..
i really learned a lot..
thanks momsy!